Jack who?

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owners of Knee-Deep Schitt, Inc.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, the twins: Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt and Bull Schitt, a high school drop-out.

After being married for 15 years Jack and Noe divorced. Noe later married Mr. Sherlock and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a cowardly son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and, consequently, married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd and Horse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned with his new bride, Pisa Schitt.

American food, desi flavor

Ham on the Street

The name of the show itself turned me off initially since I'm not a big fan of red meat (ham, beef, etc). But the other day I was watching the Food Network and Ham on the Street had an interesting show on making some quick fix guilty pleasures (desserts). The host George Duran showed a quick recipe on how to make some chicken fingers, which is not normally considered desi food. Besides chicken fingers are fried which is a big turn off. But the twist here was that, these were healthy baked chicken fingers with curry powder in them.
The (approximate) recipe:
1. Take skinless boneless chicken breasts and slice them into finger sized pieces.
2. Take light mayonnaise and mix curry powder in it and stir till it turns light brown in color. (You can add other spices also depending on your palette)
3. Dip chicken finger in mayonnaise-curry powder mix till they are completely coated.
4. Dip the coated chicken fingers in a bowl full of bread crumbs till they are completely coated with crumbs.
5. Preheat oven to 350°.
6. Place chicken fingers on cookie sheet and bake in oven for 15 minutes or until the crumbs start turning deep golden brown.
(This is my own twist to the recipe)
7. Pull out of oven and devour them with a side of Maggi hot n sweet tomato chilli sauce, it's different boss.

Disclaimer: I tried this at home and it worked for me. It's an easy to make recipe even for people with minimal cooking skills, like me. But I'm not responsible for any mishaps encountered by other desis while trying this recipe, which may or may not include getting your dharma-brashta.

Most eagerly awaited sequel ever

Cricket in USA at last?

Sachin in USA at last?

Last month the ICC formally recognized the USA Cricket Association (USACA) ..... again and with that (hopefully) all the internal wrangling and mud slinging has come to an end. USACA is working with India on playing some matches in New York, Texas, Chicago, California and woohoo......... South Florida. With the Indian team doing so well in one dayers, I can't wait to get a glimpse of them in action.

The US has a large South Asian expatriate population that is mostly doing well financially. South Asians love cricket. So cricket in USA should be taking off bigtime right?
To quote my favorite ESPN analyst (and former FSU alum), Lee Corso, "Not so fast, my friend!".
From cricinfo.com(1),(2):

Nine days ago there was a meeting in Dallas which was vital to the future of cricket in the USA. Coming at the end of a year of bitter infighting which has left the game's reputation in the US in tatters overseas, some would argue it was the most important meeting in the USA Cricket Association's history. And yet, almost nobody turned up.......................................

This part blows me away. You would think in one of the most sports crazy country and also the most technologically advanced country, you would at least have a decent website. The website looks like something a 5 year old would throw together.

...............The USACA has undertaken what I assume to be a deliberate policy of silence for almost a year. No events or explanations have been made to stakeholders, all information has had to come from third parties, and the board has been, in my view, utterly incompetent in its responsibilities to keep its own members informed.

In this day and age, a website is the first source of disseminating information, as well as the quickest and cheapest. The USACA claims that it has been having trouble with the site. Earlier in the year it said the URL had been "hijacked". But the refusal to maintain what most small clubs would accept as a decent site has been atypical of the board's reluctance - almost refusal - to share information. Anyone who runs a website would attest to the ease of adding a few basic details. Indeed, the USACA managed to update other information in the meantime. But the EGM was not deemed important enough. And, nine days on, there is not even a brief resume of what happened - or rather, didn't happen.

The story of the USACA from last year reads like a textbook on Bureaucracy 101.

Those who were at the meeting - and there weren't even enough directors to enable a board meeting to be held - say that there were useful discussions. So useful that the USACA has not let anyone know what happened. But whatever was mulled over, nothing agreed was binding and, given the USACA's track record, there must be grave suspicions that talk will not result in actions.

Are desis alone to blame for this mess? Certainly not! USACA is made up of members originating from South Asia, the Gulf, The Queen's boys, Down Under, South Africa and the Carribean. But among the above mentioned, desis form the largest contingent and with our history for internal squabbling and apathy, we are certainly need to take out share of the blame. All said and done, I hope Cricket in the USA takes off in a big way with the 2007 World Cup in the Carribean.

Fareed Zakaria on US versus European immigration

What every US immigrant dreams of before arriving

Zakaria conveys his feelings on why the European model of immigration will perhaps not work in the United States. With all the talk of the guest workers program, which basically does not ensure any kind of eventual permanent status for the immigrant worker, this article may explain why perhaps Americans should not go the European route when dealing with immigrants.

Germany, it seems, had a german green card program targetted at Indian IT professionals in particular in the late 90s.

Watching the U.S. economy soar during the '90s, the Germans had decided that they, too, needed to go the high-technology route. But how? In the late '90s, the answer seemed obvious: Indians. After all, Indian entrepreneurs accounted for one of every three Silicon Valley start-ups. So the German government decided that it would lure Indians to Germany just as America does: by offering green cards. Officials created something called the German Green Card and announced that they would issue 20,000 in the first year.

Obviously they did not do a good job of advertising it, because as an IT professional in the late 90s, I had no earthly clue such a thing even existed. Obviously, it was a big flop but not because of lack of publicity but because of the crappy nature of the program. It was nowhere close to an American Green Card.

The German Green Card was misnamed, I argued, because it never, under any circumstances, translated into German citizenship. The U.S. green card, by contrast, is an almost automatic path to becoming American (after five years and a clean record)......
So Germany was asking bright young professionals to leave their country, culture and families, move thousands of miles away, learn a new language and work in a strange land—but without any prospect of ever being part of their new home. Germany was sending a signal, one that was accurately received in India and other countries, and also by Germany's own immigrant community.

The *current* American approach of a (student visa->)work permit->green card->citizenship gives immigrant people (yours truly, for instance and even Zakaria himself), a ray of hope that there will be some eventuality to this whole saga of immigration and perhaps that makes them feel welcome. If you left everything and everyone dear to you, moved to a foreign country and worked your whole life towards making that country a better place, isnt that a nice gift to get in the bargain - the feeling of belonging and being welcome?

Beyond the purely economic issue, however, there is the much deeper one that defines America—to itself, to its immigrants and to the world. How do we want to treat those who are already in this country, working and living with us? How do we want to treat those who come in on visas or guest permits? These people must have some hope, some reasonable path to becoming Americans.

Rajasthan textbook: "Loyal" donkeys better than wives, says textbook

A textbook in Rajasthan has apparently made a comparision between women and donkeys and the latter came on top.

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From yahoo.com:

"A donkey is like a housewife ... In fact, the donkey is a shade better, for while the housewife may sometimes complain and walk off to her parents' home, you'll never catch the donkey being disloyal to his master," the newspaper reported, quoting a Hindi-language primer meant for 14-year-olds.

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From answers.com:

prim·er (prĭm'ər) pronunciation
n.
1. An elementary textbook for teaching children to read.
2. A book that covers the basic elements of a subject.

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Shameful that the government would even allow something like that to be published. Anything degrading women should not be published anywhere in the first place, certainly not in a textbook. When the western media is looking for more reasons to potray India as the "mystic orient", we provide more reasons for them to do so.

Paris Hilton approached for Mother Teresa's role

See the resemblance?

An Indian filmmaker has Paris Hilton on his short list of people to play Mother Teresa.

From aol.com:

Film director T. Rajeevnath, who is based in Thiruvananthapuram, India, says Hilton is on his short list to play Mother Teresa in a biopic he's planning about the Nobel Peace Prize winner, who worked among Calcutta's poor with the Missionaries of Charity.


"(Hilton's) features resemble Mother Teresa's," Rajeevnath – whose films include Janani (Mother), an award-winner in India about nuns caring for an abandoned infant – told Agence France-Presse yesterday.

Mother Teresa gave up all earthly possessions to help the poor, Paris spends as much money as possible. Mother Teresa made videos trying to convince people to help starving children. Paris makes videos having sex with her boyfriend and then stopping to answer her cellphone. There are so similar its scary. Yes, Rajeevnath. I see the resemblance.

April Fool's day .......... on March 31st

I'll admit I was at the recieving end of one of the most elaborate April Fool's day hoaxes I've experienced. The problem was the prank was played on March 31st. Cheap shot.
I can so see these guys yelling "Happy New Year" when the clock strikes midnight on December 30th.